You Will Need Other People
“You’ll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living, breathing screaming invitation to believe better things”
– Jamie Tworkowski (Founder of To Write Love On Her Arms)
For a long time, I believed that I didn’t need people. That I could make it on my own and fight my battles without help from anyone. I convinced myself that I was doing okay and I didn’t need anything else. It wasn’t until I met some incredible people (through photography) that I realized that we all need other people. We’re not superheroes. It’s okay to ask for help, and it’s okay to let people see you when you’re vulnerable. That those who care about you will help you up. And sometimes, they’ll tell you things you don’t want to hear, but you would both know that you need to hear them. Take it and think about it – sometimes people notice things about us that we’d never notice. And more importantly, never take it as an attack. I know it’s easy to get defensive when you hear something you don’t like, so think before you react.
I used to be a hermit. After graduating from university, I took a year off and stayed home most of the time. I read a lot of books but that’s pretty much all I did. I avoided going out or seeing friends, because I felt safe. In a way I felt like interacting with people would only end up hurting me.
And it does, sometimes. I’m not going to lie and say that everything is always easy. But what makes things easier is having faith and believing in people. I choose to see the good in everyone. And having wonderful friends helps, a lot.
So reach out, call a friend, ask for help. It’s okay to need other people.
Last week’s theme for the 52 Week Project was hair. I don’t think I need to tell you that I did not want to do it. And I was tempted to cheat and find a new theme but I didn’t so yay! Here it is, 7/52:
For those who don’t know, the hard drive that contained ALL my work crashed. I’m getting it fixed but I had no backups, so all my stock images and textures are gone (for now). So for this image, I used Brooke Shaden’s textures, and my friend, TJ, sent me some cloud pictures to use for my work.
This week’s theme is (drum roll): black and white.
Now that‘s going to be a challenge. I love colors 😦 haha
2014-2017 52 Week Project Thoughts 52 week project amani alshaali fine art photographer fine art photography friends photography photography project photoshop photoshop edit shaden textures thoughts to write love on her arms TWLOHA
I´ve been on the same journey! I felt like I am so “independent”, I could never let anyone see me, and by “see” I mean allowing people get to know me or at least allowing them to peak behind the curtain. I built up thick brick walls around me and – like you – felt safe.
But one day I realized, that if I don´t let anyone trough, I can´t peak out of my walls either, because it takes connection, which never works as a one-way road. Connecting to other people requires to have a “flow” in both directions, it´s giving and taking, and I found both quite challenging… neither was I ready to give, nor did I dare to take too much because I knew I could not reciprocate… it is a vicious circle…
At some point I realized, that the “safety” with which it provided me was an illusion and my “walls” had become a prison of lonelyness… My walls definitely had their eligibility in the beginning, there must have been some reason that made me feel like I needed them, but further down the road I grew out of them. The problem was, that they had become such a strong part of me, that I needed quite a while to realize, that it is my decision, I CAN change, if I want to… And so I started to tear my walls down, brick by brick, one – or sometimes three – step(s) at a time – and sometimes I needed to go back and put one or two bricks back…
But today – and I am still working on it and probably always will – I enjoy connecting with people, I give my best to share parts of me and I am not as scared anymore… But the best thing is, since I started really SEEING the world around me, I feel so enriched and inspired and (positively) overwhelmed by the things other people share with me! It lifts me up when I feel down and it makes me feel peaceful…
I am thankful to myself, that could manage to work on overcoming my fears and to change and – like Brooke has put it so beautifully – to work on myself in order to become the person I want to be – and that is definitely a passionate and connected self…
Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself! Thank you for inspiring me to do so as well! And I thank Brooke because she connects so many people and her blog was where I discovered you 🙂
Hi Thea ❤
I relate SO much to everything you've written! Change can be incredibly scary sometimes but that's when we get to test our strength and prove to ourselves that we're stronger than we thought. And I'm so happy and proud of you for being able to work on overcoming your fears and being the person you wanna be. I know it can be difficult at times but also so rewarding.
Thank YOU for sharing that, I'm always excited to hear from you! I am so grateful to Brooke for all the wonderful people that came into my life because of her, yourself included 🙂 wish I could give you a BIG hug!