To Guide Your Way Back Home
Being in Egypt has given me time to reflect on things. It’s probably because I don’t always have access to the internet, and most of the time I’m out. Not in a mall or anything, just outdoors. I love being outdoors. And it gets cold at night! It’s awesome. I’ve also been reading a lot; I just finished reading a book so that’s a total of 3 books since I left home.
What I finally understand and accept though is that I am who I am and I shouldn’t try to change that. I’ve always struggled with wanting to make everyone happy, and in return expecting people to do the same for me. I’m really sensitive and I love people so much that it hurts sometimes. It sounds silly, but I end up expecting people to be there and do more than they can – because it’s what I would do. Now I know I’m starting to sound conceited but bear with me. I’m not saying there’s something wrong with people – we all show love in different ways. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. What I mean is that it took me a while to be okay with the fact that people show love in different ways and I shouldn’t change mine, even if it hurts me sometimes, because it’s just who I am. I can pretend to be all tough and be like “yeah you know what, I’m not going to check up on that friend anymore because she never talks to me first”, but I wouldn’t do that.
I still sometimes worry about saying the wrong thing or saying too much, especially here. Sometimes I feel like there’s a fine line when talking about myself between sounding like I’m constantly putting myself down and sounding conceited or arrogant.
On a happier note, I’ve been experimenting with street photography! It’s been so much fun. I’m posting some pictures but first, here’s image 12 for the 52 Week Project. Theme: inspired by a song.
For this picture, I chose a song called Written In The Stars by Blackmore’s Night. I think I discovered that song when I was around 15 and it came up on my shuffle the other day and I remembered how much I used to love it. It’s a beautiful song.
And here are some of the pictures I’ve taken over the last few days. I’ve got SO many but haven’t had time to edit them all.
I go back home either on Sunday or Tuesday, still not sure. And on the 18th, I’m going to Malaysia for a family vacation. I’m excited but I also can’t wait to be home and be able to get back to photography full time.
This week’s theme is doors/windows. I didn’t cheat this time, I swear! haha
I hope you’re all having a great week!
2014-2017 52 Week Project Thoughts 52 week project amani alshaali egypt fine art photographer fine art photography insecurities photography photoshop photoshop edit self acceptance street photography thoughts
This is the first image of yours having a night sky and it looks so magical. You did a great job 😀 I love it.
As for the blog post what ever you wrote are very common things to get hurt about, I am sure all of us were hurt like that by a loved one in some way…I know I have.
But then I read this quote some where a few years ago
“Even after all this time
The sun never says to the earth,
“you owe me.”
Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.”
― Hafiz of Shiraz
I kept these words in my heart and made sure to follow. It took a little time but I forced my self to change…. to give and expect nothing in return, whether it’s love, helping hands, care, concern, kind words, prayers or support. All these are considered as good deeds and there is no other reward for good except goodness in return from Allah SWT. I was surprised at how calm and happy I felt ever since I followed this.It has made me a better person, not a bitter one.
In fact you will end up hearing people say ” WHY DID YOU DO THAT FOR SUCH AND SUCH, THEY WON”T DO THE SAME IN RETURN, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO GAIN? WHY BOTHER? WHY CARE? ” and once you tell your reasons they too will be surprised and maybe you will change their thinking and actions too someday.
I am glad you wrote about how you felt 😀 it was very brave of you. I hope my post helps you somehow.
You’re such an incredible person Amina ❤ thank you so much for this. It definitely does help. Everytime I start feeling bad about this stuff, I remember what you wrote and it makes me smile. I hope one day I can get to where you're at ❤