The 52 Week Project is back!
I know I haven’t been consistent with it so it kinda defeats the whole purpose. Traveling made it hard to keep up with it, and when I got back I just couldn’t get myself into that rhythm I was into, of shooting regularly. I justified it in my head by thinking I’ve already got so much to edit from my trip – which is bad, I know.
But the real reason? I was, I am scared.
what if no one likes it what if this the last good image I make what if I can’t do this anymore what if this turns out horribly what if I run out of ideas what if I can’t think of anything to shoot why am I even doing this what if I’m saying too much what if I’m exposing too much what if I tell people more than I should what if this comes back to haunt me won’t it be easier to just go back into my shell and hide
And that’s just about 10% of what goes on in my head on a daily basis. Despite all the fears, the ones I’ve mentioned and the ones I’ll never speak of, I persevere. This isn’t something I would ever want to give up, not only because of how good it feels to create something out of nothing, but because of people’s support and people telling me that they can relate to my work. We all feel the same things. We are not alone.
So I stopped at image 23, and the theme was dance. If you haven’t seen it, it’s here. The next theme was letters. And this is what I did:
I thought I’d tell you a bit about my thought process for this one, in case it’s not so obvious. It went something like:
Letters I’d never send.
A room full of letters I’d never send.
Things I’d never say.
Drowning in words I’d never say.
To do this, I bought a kiddy pool, filled it with water then added milk and flour to make it white and murky. I’ve seen Brooke Shaden doing that in one of her videos (or Creative Live, I’m not sure) and I’ve wanted to do it since. This was my second attempt, the first time I tried it I ran out of time. It got dark really fast and I didn’t get extra shots and I was just unhappy with the main image. That was a week ago, I was planning on doing it again two days later but I got sick and didn’t wanna risk getting cold again. I’m all good now though!
For the “letters”, I just started writing down random stuff with watercolors. I used watercolors hoping the ink would bleed a little when I put the paper into the water. It did, but not as much as I hoped it would and it wasn’t so obvious. I’m still happy with how it looks though.
When I showed this to my sister, she said it looks like ice, which I thought was pretty cool.
Next theme: temptation.
2014-2017 52 Week Project Thoughts 52 week project amani alshaali challenge conceptual photography failure fears fine art photographer fine art photography hope insecurities inspiration letters photography photography challenge photoshop photoshop edit self acceptance thoughts water
I love this photograph. There’s so much going on in it, and open to questions and different potential interpretations – besides simply being an arresting image.
Your “what if..?” questions about your own process is maybe a normal part of the creative process. But first we do the work for ourselves – whether someone likes it or not is best kept aside as a secondary consideration. But the fear and anxiety adrenaline is also energy you can put into the work. I’ve met loads of actors and dancers, for example who regularly threw up before a performance – even seasoned professionals did – anxiety about whether they would be any good, fear of failure, forgetting their lines, or just plain stage fright. So rest assured about your own anxieties. Though WE all know you produce great work – believe in yourself.
I’m glad you like it!
Thank you so much for your encouraging words, John. It means a lot to me. You’re right – I think sometimes we lose sight of why we’re doing what we’re doing and let people influence our choices. I’m getting through it though and I will definitely use that fear to my advantage (as soon as I figure out how hehe)
Hello Amani! First, I’m glad that you enjoyed my words and I am pleased to follow part of your journey. Then, tell you that I like this work. Well planned and worked. As you can see, you need not be afraid, do and enjoy your work. jakk54 already said it all. A lot of inspiration for you and stay well!
You’re so sweet Paulo, thank you so much! I’m glad you liked the picture 🙂
i love this. and i love how she is drowning because the things we say can eventually overwhelm us. i love how it looks like ice or a wall because she is trapped by not having the freedom of saying what she wants to say either good or bad. this is now one of my favortie images by you. i LOOOOOOVE it! and never be scared i will be right there by you cheering you on i love your work.
Ahh Robin, I wish I could give you a big hug! It makes me happy that you get and can relate to the picture, and I’m so glad you love it!
Thank you for being there ❤
So glad to see that you’re hoping back into your 52 week project!! It’s always so exciting and interesting to see what people do when given a theme! 🙂 I absolutely ADORE this image, its so fantastic!!!!! I’m looking forward to your next installment! 🙂
I agree! It can be a bit of a challenge sometimes though hehe. Thank you so much Robert! I’m so happy you like it 😀
p.s. I’ll never stop getting excited about hearing from you – I’m a huuuuge fan of your work!
I am glad you fought the “what if”s and turned them into a beatuiful and strong image! Please keep going, beacause so far I have only seen support and love on your blog and I am sure it will continue – so no need to worry 😉
Love and hugs ❤
You’re right Thea, the support I get from you and everyone who takes the time to read my blog, and comment, is just incredible. I wish I could give you a hug! Thank you for being a part of my journey ❤