Life has a habit of taking those you want closest, 
and throwing them across the ocean..

I put off writing this blog post because.. ALL THE EMOTIONS. A rollercoaster of emotions. A never-ending, crazy rollercoaster of emotions. Two of my best friends live on the other side of the world, and as much as I’d like to stay positive and think about the next time I’ll see them, I can’t help but miss them so much to the point where it hurts my heart.

Autumn and I met ten years ago, online. She’s the friend I’ve had the longest, and we’ve been through so much together, even when we never met. I only met her last year, when I traveled to the US. I saw her again last October. I stayed with her and her family for about a week and leaving them was just heartbreaking. Autumn is one of the most amazing people I know. She has the kindest heart and the most beautiful soul. She believes in me and loves me and it just feels so insane sometimes but also so wonderful – knowing that there’s someone out there who feels exactly what you feel for them. I would jump in front of a bullet for Autumn. She has a way of making me feel like everything is alright. When I’m around her, I feel like life is good. We had lazy days, so often, where we stayed in and just  hung out and talked. And those were my favorite. One night, we went outside for a walk then ended up sitting in the middle of the road. We felt like we were rebels, even though it was 1am and the streets were empty. We stayed there till 3am. We can talk forever, about everything and nothing at the same time. We can sit in silence and it’s never awkward. We can be goofy, silly, loud, crazy.. and we’re always in sync. I love Autumn so much.

We created an image together, and it’s one of the images that I cherish the most. Autumn is an amazing model, but I knew I had to create at least one image that would portray our friendship.

I collected a bunch of videos and pictures I took while I was with Autumn and I wanted to share that with you guys. Everyone needs to see the person Autumn is. Everyone needs an Autumn in their lives. I wish I could make every single person I know meet Autumn, I know their lives would be so much better.

It hurts and it sucks and it’s awful and I wish we weren’t so far apart, but you know what? There’s nothing more amazing than having a friendship so strong, it transcends physical distance. My friends have a special place in my heart no matter how far away they are.
At first I struggled with it, leaving them and coming home. But I slowly realized that there are ways to deal with this. If you’re in a similar situation, you’d know how difficult it can be. And yeah, you can cry, you can be sad, you can let yourself feel it. But more importantly, when you think of them, think of the good times you’ve had rather than dwell on the fact that you’re no longer together. Close your eyes and send them a huge hug in your head, I do that so often. I don’t know if they feel it, but I like to think they do. I think about all the things I’m grateful for about them. I’m grateful for their existence. I tell them about it. I tell them I miss them. And even though telling someone you miss them doesn’t make the situation any better, it always feels good to know that you’re missed. And this is an obvious one, but stay in touch. Autumn and I schedule regular Skype sessions, we text often, and we send each other silly faces on snapchat.
I still dream of the day we can all live in the same place so that I could see them everyday, but for now I look forward to the next time I see them.
And when I say them, I’m also talking about one of my other best friends, TJ. He lives in the US too and I don’t see him often. But that’s going to be in another post..

I’d love to know if you guys have gone or are going through something similar. Do you have friends living so far away and you don’t get to see them often? If you do, how do you deal with it?

p.s. you can find Autumn here.

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