A little late to the game, but better late than never right?

God, I’ve missed blogging. I’ve been jumping from one project to the other, one shoot to the next, that I seem to have neglected my blog yet again. I need something or someone to hold me accountable for blogging weekly, any volunteers? 😀

So I thought I’d show you guys a little of what I’ve been up to, as well as take a quick look at my 2015 – what I’ve done, what I’ve learned, and what I have planned for 2016.

I have to say that what I shot in January might just be my favorite of the year. February followed and let’s just say.. it wasn’t the greatest. I had more failed shoots than I’d like to admit.
But I would say that the end of the month made up for that, because I got to meet a photographer I’ve admired for a long time and got to photograph her!

I wrote a whole blog post about that day, you can check it out here 🙂

And then March was insane. GPP happened in March and it took up quite a lot of time. I also assisted my friend, TJ, on a couple of shoots. More on that here and here.

April.. god, that month was not a good one. I did 9 shoots, most of which failed. But, I did create one image that I consider a favorite of mine.

I was also invited to speak to a photography club here in Dubai, and I almost refused. But I did it, despite my fear of public speaking, and I think it went well! I wrote a post about it, and posted a video here.

In May I got to photograph Fiona, and wrote a blog post about it. I’m so happy I got to meet her, she is such a lovely person. A few days ago I got to photograph her again, but it could be the last time. She recently got married and is moving back to Canada </3 heartbreak.

The rest of the month wasn’t very successful though. I had four other shoots, all ended up in my scraps folder. Lessons learned!

June was awesome. I did my biggest shoot ever, 5 in one day with Natalia Wiechowski. I wrote about it in separate blog posts: here, here, here, and here.
It was also my birthday!

July was a quiet month, but I did manage to create two images I’m happy with!

In August I traveled to Germany with my dad and sister, so I didn’t get to shoot much. I did get tons of cloud pictures though! 😀

In September,  I had an idea I really wanted to create, but kept failing. I did the shoot 4 times, and I’m glad I didn’t give up on it. This is what I ended up with:

Aaaand in October, I went to AMERICA! I would so move there if I could. I’m still so behind on editing – I went to North Carolina for Brooke Shaden’s Promoting Passion convention (and wrote about it here). After that, I visited friends in Kentucky and Nebraska. I still have a lot to edit from both states and I can’t wait to start.

In November, I did another talk with EPyC (video quality isn’t the greatest, and my camera stopped recording halfway through so I never posted it). And after the talk, I met a photographer called Issa Al Kindy. Issa asked me if I wanted to collaborate with him on a project and I instantly said yes. I’ve been wanting to start working with other people for a while and I just didn’t know who would be willing to do the weird, creepy stuff I do haha. And since then, we’ve been working together a lot and experimenting and shooting spontaneously and it’s been SO much fun!

Issa and I have been shooting so much, I haven’t had much time to edit the pictures. But stay tuned, we did some pretty awesome stuff.

In December, I received a Hasselblad camera. I know.. what?!
I was contacted by Hasselblad months earlier and we discussed working on a project together so they sent me a camera to use. I had a huge shoot planned, with a fog machine and all, and it was awesome. I’m still working on the pictures, but I’ll be posting them soon, with a behind the scenes video! 😀
My friend’s sister agreed to model for me for that project, and she’s a ballerina. So after the shoot, I wanted to get some pictures for her, doing her awesome dance poses. This is one of them:

What was left of December was spent on adventures to the desert, the beach, the mountains. It’s been absolutely wonderful. I need to spend an entire month doing nothing but editing so I can show you guys everything Issa and I have done, but I would miss shooting too much.
I edited some portraits I shot, just so the models won’t feel like I wasted their time (with the conceptual pieces).

The more I shoot portraits, the more I fall in love with them. I’m making it a habit to shoot portraits of whoever I’m shooting for my conceptual images and I love it. I have soooo many more to edit! (I’m pretty sure I’ve said that like a hundred times by now)

2015 brought so many ups, and so many downs. But one thing I know for sure: I was ready for a change. I was tired of feeling like I’m constantly failing, tired of worrying too much, tired of crying too much. I started seeing a doctor and going for weekly therapy, and that helped me stay sane. Not only that, but it changed so much in me. And it’s not even things that I noticed. I never noticed how much I talk negatively to myself. I never noticed how insecure I am. I never noticed how I made myself an after-thought, and not only to the people around me, but to myself too. Now I notice my behavior, I try to be aware of my thoughts, I try to take it one day at a time.
And there are days when the weight feels too heavy. There are days when I think about dying. There are days when I feel insignificant and worthless. But they don’t come as often as they used to.
I’m kinder to my demons, and I think that they’re starting to be kind to me too.

I have huge projects planned for 2016. I’m scared, but that’s how I know they’re worth going after. I am so excited for what’s to come.

2014-2017 Events Thoughts amani alshaali autumn horton brooke shaden conceptual conceptual photography events failure fears fine art photographer fine art photography friends gpp gulf photo plus hope insecurities inspiration kentucky Natalia Wiechowski photography photoshop photoshop edit promotingpassion2015 self acceptance thoughts travel United States