We don’t have to be in a negative state of mind to be able to create.
Over the past few weeks, I struggled so much with that. I didn’t want to create something that doesn’t feel genuine or isn’t a part of me, but at the same time I was dying to create. I used to find a lot of inspiration in the negative thoughts and feelings I used to have, and in translating them into images I felt better. And without the negative thoughts and feelings I thought maybe I have nothing to release. And of course I went into the whole oh my god my fine art days are over I’ll never create anything meaningful again.
And then I thought – hold on. Just because I’m not in that mental state doesn’t mean I don’t know how it feels. I’ve lived through it, and I don’t have to put myself back into just to be able to create.
I was talking to my therapist the other day and I said something about how right now, I feel like I’m standing on the edge. I need to be really careful not to fall and relapse, but I also can’t run before I crawl. And when I said that, I imagined an image in my head and decided to create it.
Although after brainstorming the idea I decided to turn it into something kinda sad.. it still feels authentic. It still feels like me. I’ve missed creating fine art pieces.