Oh hi. This blog still exists. I didn’t forget about it, I’ve just been.. lost.

Metaphorically speaking of course. I’m still here. I just felt like all this time, I didn’t have anything worth sharing. Which, I now realize, isn’t true. I’ve been to so many new places and met so many incredible people.
In July, I went to the Czech Republic with my family, and I went to the US in September/October for Brooke Shaden’s Promoting Passion convention.

Where, in all of this, did I lose my place?
I don’t even know. I miss doing what I love, I miss creating and I miss connecting with people through my blog. Which is exactly why it needs to come back.
Sometimes, I’m riddled with insecurities. I tell myself that I don’t have anything to share, and who wants to read my blog posts anyway? And what value does this add to the world? A 25 year old girl constantly talking about sad stuff. Boohoo.

Needless to say, I’ve been pretty hard on myself. Don’t get me wrong, there have been ups and downs. The ups were, and still are, amazing. I fell in love and I fell apart. But that’s life right? This constant battle between what’s real and what isn’t? Between highs and lows. Between darkness and light. Between hope and despair.

What you just heard is a poem by Joel McKerrow, an Australian poet and overall amazing human being I had the pleasure of meeting during PPC2016. I attended Joel’s workshop, and one of the exercises he asked us to do was to write down the headings of chapters of the book of our lives. I wrote mine and shared it with him, and he wrote this poem about me/my chapter headings. I still can’t get over how incredible that is.

The past few months, I focused so much on starting a portrait business, and I forgot why I fell in love with photography in the first place. Conceptual fine art photography is what I love the most, and I stopped doing it. I’ve always been the kind of person who can’t balance too many things at once. If I’m working on something I want to give it all my attention. I don’t think that’s always a good thing, because I tend to leave everything else behind. Like if I discover a new book and I’m in love with it.. I could read for hours and forget about everything else that I need to do.

So with this year ending soon, I want to find that balance. I want to remember why I fell in love with photography. I need to create.. because creating is what I live for.

I created this image when I was in Nebraska – I was inspired by a conversation I had with my therapist. She said that it seems like I’m getting better, but I’m stuck between wanting to move forward and wanting to stay in a dark place because it’s comfortable.

I’ve got so many blog posts planned out. I can’t wait to show you guys pictures from The Czech Republic and the United States.
What have you guys been up to? Tell me I wanna know 😀 feel free to ramble. I miss you guys.

2014-2017 Events Thoughts amani alshaali blogging book art book cover brooke shaden conceptual conceptual photographer conceptual photography conceptual portrait conceptual portraits depression fiction cover fine art photographer fine art photography friends inspiration joel mckerrow photography poetry writing YA